Cold Feet and Confusion

I guess it would be asking to much that life continue to go as smooth as it has been. There is to be opposition in all things and its that opposistion that helps us to appreciate when we've got it good. Things have been going rather nicely with Mr. Man he was even talking about making me Mrs. Mr. Man. A delightful but terrifying concept to say the least. I'm still sure thats the eventual direction that things will go in but as of right now Mr. Man is a little scared and I don't blame him having startling clarity of thought I just didn't expect it to hurt so much. And I definatly didn't think I would respect his decision or him after the blow he dealt me. We had a really long phone conversation last night as I got off of work. Mr. Man just wants to know for certain that the direction we are headed in is the right one and while he is battling his doubts and fears he didn't think it prudent to continue in our current path so he called a sortof hiatus on our relationship albeit fledgling. He made some good points but it was a little too late considering he'd already practically promised me the world. These were things that should have been entertained and discussed before he defined us as boyfriend and girlfriend. So as of now we are friends as crappy as that is. I know that it is his youth and inexperience that is driving all this but I hate being a practice girlfriend and told him as much. I said alot of things that he probably didn't want to hear but he started it, he opened that can of worms. I have a feeling that there are going to be a lot more serious heartfelt conversations before its all over but that they are needful for us if we want to end up together. Although I still maintain my same certainty that we are going to be together I'm still reeling for the hurt that was inflicted even though he didn't intend to hurt me. Its just that this hurt is all too familiar and I was hoping that he would never be in the same boat as the ex. I don't like being pushed aside not because I am not what they wanted or needed but because of their own self detrimental attitudes. Granted Mr. Man's attitudes and reason are a bit more sane and valid but these are also concerns that we could have figured out together and simply been cautions of the speed of our relationship instead of calling a devasting time out. I'm just confused at the timing of it all I just hope he figures it all out before its too late for me to let him back into my heart again. I don't have it in me to be hurt too much more. I miss him already.

Miss M