I Never Want to Leave Him

My weekend in Phoenix was fantastic. It was the heaven that I predicted it would be. This thing with Tiger just keeps getting more and more wonderful. I never thought I could be this happy or could ever deserve someone as fantastic as he is. Everyday I fall for him more and more and my smile gets bigger and bigger. Everything I learn about him I love. I loved being with him. I want to be with him always. Those few days that we spent were marvelous. I couldn't've asked for anything better. We didn't even do anything all that spectacular, but we had a great time. We basicly just hung around together. We watched movies together and went out to dinner. We spent time with his family visiting and chatting. We went greocery shopping together and went to a museum. A double date with his hilarious brother. We had so much of fun and laughed so much. The funest stuff was cooking together, falling asleep together and waking him up in the morning. Those things were the best. I liked walking out to where he was sleeping in the living room sitting onthe floor next to him and rubbing his back until he started to stir. He would smile at me lazily with his eyes closed and cuddle up to my legs and pretend to fall asleep again so I wouldn't stop touching his back. I'd kiss his cheek and continue to rouse him sweetly. It was nice. It was more than nice. It was wonderful. It was blissful. There werea couple nights where we'd be sitting together talking and laughing and playing video games and the next moment I'd be waking up with him next to me. Inappropriate I'm sure but it was innocent enough and sweet. We just didn't want to seperate. We wanted to get us much time in together as we could so we would talk till we were exhausted. I loved every minute of it. We woke up late the morning I was to fly out and I missed my flight. I had to take one that was a couple hours later. I was glad to miss my flight though. It gave me a more time to be with Tiger. It was one of the hardest things for me to walk away from him. I was crying a bit as I went through security. I think that's way they frisked me and searched my bags. I didn't mind though they did it to alot of people. I just felt silly for crying in front of all those people. He hadn't even been gone for 10 minutes and I missed him so much. It was awful. But we talked and text messaged through out the day and I started to feel a little better. I miss him. I hated having to walk away from him. He looked so sad when I looked back at him. I wanted to run back and hug him and tell him "Forget it I'm staying here. We'll figure it out." If it weren't for the fact that all my clothes were already on the plan I probably would have stayed. Sounds a bit drastic I know but thats just the way that I am, impulsive and dramatic.

Even though we're far away from each other we're still so happy. Things are so wonderful. talking on the phone and texting is about all we're able to do but its such fun. I'll take what I can get and we'll patient till we can both get it together enough to close the distance and live close to each other. I look forward to having everyday life be as great as I know it will be. Even if its half as wonderful as our weekends have been it would be fantastic and worth all of the waiting, all the tears (mostly all mine) and all of the toughness that comes from being in a long distance relationship. When I first met Tiger and we were just friends I thought to myself that I could never fall for him, for several reasons, but one of the biggest ones was how far away from the other we were. I never wanted to do that to myself. I figured I wasn't up for that, that would just be way too hard. But then My just friend became my best friend. Even though we only talked on the phone and on the internet he became the one I wanted to spend my time with. Nobody else could cut it. The more he was my friend the more I learned about him the more I cared. I tried so hard to convince myself that he was nothing more than a friend. In September when he came here and he walked toward me at the airport I knew, I knew I loved him. I'd loved him for so long that I didn't even know how or when it had happened. From that moment I never wanted to leave him. He became home. I miss him. Its as hard as I thought it would be to be in a long distance realtionship, maybe even a little harder than I thought it would be but I don't care. I can't, I wouldn't and I won't take it back now. He's too important. He's too much a part of me now. I'm not sure of when I'll be with him again. I don't know whats going to happen next. All I know is our intentions toward the other. We're in love and one day we'll be each others forever. The how and the when and the whatever is still up in the air but we both want this to end up in the temple, because I know that I couldn't settle for anything less than eternity with him. Sometimes even eternity doesn't seem like its long enough to satisfy and I know he feels the same.

I never want to leave him.

Miss M

Heaven Begins Tomorrow

I leave tomorrow for Phoenix. I'm starting to get anxious, but its a good sortof anxious. Today marks two months that we've been together as a couple. I never would've thought that Tiger and I were going to be together like this. When I met him all I wanted was someone to talk to. I wanted nothing more from him than that, but as the months past and I healed I began to see him differently and the more I learned about him the more I began to love him. First as a friend then as a dear and treasured friend and then I started to see the possiblity that I had been blind to him all this time. I wanted to deny the fact that I was falling for him. I started to need and want him like I have never wanted anyone before. I prayed that he could see me as something more than a friend and that he would desire to be with me. I realized when he was here in september that he had done the same thing. Fallen in love with me over time and that he knew he could love me long before I wanted him to.

I'm excited to see Tiger. I've missed him so much since he left and it feels like so many things have changed since we started this. Our relationship seems to have found good and sturdy footing as we've talked over these last couple of months. I never thought love could be like this. I didn't know that I could be in a relationship that would be so perfect and make me so happy. I am blissful just being able to talk to him to listen to him tell me what he wants our future together to be like. I see in him my life's happinesses and that he will be there for me like no other. I never thought I could fit with someone as perfectly as I do with him. I'm in love.

I'm sure this weekend will be nothing too fantastic in what we'll be doing whatever activities or whatnot we decide to do but the joy we'll have just spending the time together is what will make this weekend heaven. I'm nervous and anxious, excited and giddy. I go to see my love tomorrow and he's very eager to see me, to spend time with me and to love on me.

I love being loved like this.

Miss M