Sorry

I think I need to apologize a little for one of my previous posts. Not that what I felt isn't valid its just that it was written in anger and now that I've taken the time to breathe a bit, its not as bad as it appeared to be. If I want people to be forgiving and understanding of me I need to do the same. I was upset when Mr. Man didn't talk to me that Sunday my mom went to the hospital, but I shouldn't have called in the first place. We had agreed to be friends but I hadn't allowed enough time to pass so we could build a history of being casual friends before I expected him to be completely there. I shouldn't push people so hard or expect so much. It hadn't been that long since we broke up and I didn't allow much time for that to scab over before I started picking at him to give me a different relationship if we couldn't be in a romantic one. I really need to remind myself to breathe. Relationships of every kind take time especially if you want them to last awhile. I only want friendship from Mr. Man and I think I've been more detrimental to that end than helping it to develop more naturally. I have no patience for things that I want especially if I see that it'll probably work out eventually. I want it to hurry up and be what I envision it being.

I feel like I need to apologize to his whole family because I was informed the other day by his sister that mine and Mr. Man's short lived romance and the things that followed have caused quite the uproar in their family. I may have offended them unintentionally. I'm not really sure how this whole thing got so complicated. I was after something simple and lovely and enjoyable and its turned into quite the debacle. I had it in me to make all this hullabaloo go much smoother but it just caught me so off guard. Now I have to go and try to repair the damage I created in my flailing about as it ended. I'm just afraid I caused too much damage that can't be fixed and that I've lost my chance at getting my friend back. I'm not sorry that this all happened I'm just sorry for my part in this dance. I've defiantly stepped on a lot of toes and I'm sorry.

Miss M