Happy Crappy Anniversary

Today is the One year anniversary of the finalization of my divorce.

Happy Crappy Anniversary!!!

I'm not really sure how to go about celebrating something like this. It might seem weird but I do think this day deserves some sort of hoopla albeit a small personal one. I survived an awful marriage and a terrible divorce and I came through it stronger and happier then I ever thought I could be. My life has turned and twisted so much over the last year or so since all of this started. I come to this point in time with a new love and living and experiencing a relationship that is healthy and happy and wonderful. I also haven't been bothered by EX in quite some time which is a relief. I wonder if he even relizes or remembers the significance of this day. HE claimed to miss me and want me and love me so vehemently over so much of the last year but I doubt that he even thinks about me anymore and if he does I think the remembrance brings him some measure of misery. Hopefully he is tasting the misery and bitterness he so willfully inflicted on me over the last few years. It sounds cruel but I think that is half the battle of finding redemption for the misdeeds of our lives by personally living the pain we caused to some small degree. It brings an understanding of the things we inflicted on the people we claimed to love.

I am very pleased with the direction that my life has taken and the future that I am faced with now. If you had asked me a year ago I would have told you that my life would always be sadness and misery and that I was doomed to a sad and bitter fate forevermore. I thought that I would never recover from the damage and emotional turmoil that I had lived for so long. I'm sure if you asked Tiger he'd tell you that I still have a few issues leftover, but that they are nothing compared to what they once were. He has been a faithful and true friend trough most all of this. We met a few months after Ex and I seperated and has been wonderful and kind friend ever since. I never would of thought that he and I would ever want to start anything romantic, but I guess fate had another plan for us. Its been a marvelous change in an already great relationship.

So today is sortof sad but sortof happy. There are many ways to look at it, but overall I think I'm proud. Proud and Content. Proud that I was strong enought to overcome so much sadness and hard things. I'm content with the way my life is now and the direction I see it heading. Nothing will ever be so hard again because I know I can survive anything after coming through something like this. I feel so young in some ways but I mostly feel old. I feel old for having gone through so much at such a young and delicate age. This could have destroyed me and destroyed any happiness in the future but it didn't. It didn't because I didn't let it. So.....

Happy Crappy Anniversary!!! I conquered it and survived it.

Miss M