Internet guy is wonderful. He's a wonderful friend and from what I can tell a wonderful brother and son. Also wonderfully talented in many ways, and he'll be talented and exceptionally wonderful at most everything he tries. I'm sure he'll also be a wonerful boyfriend and husband someday but I don't think I'll be the girl that gets to figure that out. My friend he posted a blog a little bit about me. And he's right about all of the things he said. I do like him. I like him and care for him a great deal, but in the same breath I'm unsure of how I feel about that. We've kindof talked on the edge of this topic before but I don't think he realizes how deeply I've already thought about this. I'm terrified of what the possibilities could be and the consequences of trying to make something more happen between us. I'm mostly afraid of losing his friendship because it is a most precious and treasured thing to me. I'm not even a hundred percent sure how he feels about me other than just friends. I'm afraid to ask. But who better to fall for but your best friend?
Things are very complicated though. My dad is very very sick. I don't have a lot of freedom or energy to go wild goose chasing at the chance of something more. If anything happens it would have to come from Internet Guy. He would have to say the words first and when he comes reach for me because I just don't have it in me to do it first anymore. I need more faith in him before I can take the leap and if its not really what he meant or what he wants I am content with our friendship as is.
So I say to him, if he's up to it then I'm game.
Oh crap. I think I'm nuts. :)
Miss M
Link to his blog:
http://syglyfe.blogspot.com/
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